Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
I cockslap morals
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
Randomize
