You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Randomize
