Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
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