got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
Randomize
