I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
Lo siento on account of my penis...
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
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