I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
