Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
Randomize
