I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
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