I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
He passed out mid-signature
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Randomize
