pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
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