I like to think it a success when the cops are called
Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
Randomize
