Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
Randomize
