Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Randomize
