scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
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