pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
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