i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
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