Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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