I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
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