I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
My ass is underappreciated
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Randomize
