would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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