Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
