But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Randomize
