I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
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