Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
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