i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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