jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
