I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
