Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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