How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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