I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
