I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
Randomize
