i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize
