She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
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