That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
just found out that she named her cat after me.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
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