you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Randomize
