why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
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