i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
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