So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
Randomize
