Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Randomize
