I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
Randomize
