this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Randomize
