I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
Randomize
