Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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