just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
I got inside last night via doggy door
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
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