i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
