you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
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