Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
Randomize
