handjob tips. give me some.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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