id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
Randomize
