I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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