i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
Who did Billy Mays play for?
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
Randomize
